I'm A Terrible Person

I hate the way I act towards her sometimes. She doesn't deserve it. We used to playfully make fun of each other, essentially it was how we flirted with each other. We still kind of do it. But recently I've gotten a lot meaner towards her. I tell myself that she's OK with it and that she knows what I'm doing. And I do believe that a little part of her does. But I think that most of her is actually a little hurt by it. I thought about it. I realize why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm afraid that if it stops, it means that things are over between us. And that scares me.

The games and indecisions need to end. I need to talk to her. And in the time-being, I need to not be so damn mean to her.

Why does the road leading to relationships have to be so damn frustrating?